Just a pathetic low life.

I love you, so much, but when I’m trying to be nice and comfort you/ find out what’s wrong, there is zero need for you to swing for me, punch me, bite me or pinch me. At all.

You leave me feeling useless and unwanted, when I was only trying to help. When I feel useless and unwanted that’s when it gets hard for me, because that’s all I can think about, this making me depressed and wanting to hurt myself.

You asked me what was wrong, I’ll tell you what’s fucking wrong, you didn’t even apologize for full on punching my arm. I KNOW you didn’t mean to, which is why you should of apologized STRAIGHT AWAY? You didn’t even say sorry when I was ready to walk out of the door and walk however many miles home it is at 1am.

Then I went in panic attack mode, couldn’t breathe properly, couldn’t stop crying, head banging ‘you’re not good enough, you’re not good enough’ screaming in my mind, couldn’t stop shaking. Then you ignored me, when I asked for a cuddle.

I understand I may scare you when I get like that, but when I snap out of it, your comfort makes me feel whole again. And I apologize all the time for it, I am genuinely sorry for the way I am, I need you, it’ll take time but I’m getting there.

I love you baby, but please don’t take things out on me, because it spirals way out of control for me. And if I am to blame, tell me instead of ignoring me, because that’s when I start annoying you and this happens.

For this to work, we need to start working as a team, and think more of each other and not just ourselves. I’m trying babe, but it takes two.

I love you Fluffy